I don't know what is going on with me, but I just feel really hopeless.
In a sense, I feel like I don't know what I am living day to day for. I feel alone and isolated. I feel like I am not who I want to be. I feel like I don't know what I am looking forward to.
But at the same time, I have to have hope. Hope is really the only thing keeping me going. This idea that there is something awaiting me in the future that will be exciting and bring joy into my life.
Everything is in the process of changing.
I have started my 2nd year of seminary, and while I am enjoying my classes. I don't feel the energy of being a new student. I just feel overwhelmed. I feel like so many things are changing and I'm left in this place of being unable to move as it is all happening.
I feel paralyzed.
But I have to find joy. I cannot go on without joy.
I need a serious re-direct in my life. And, maybe my focus should not so much be on how I feel, but rather, how I make others feel.
Here's to the re-direct.
